Peace comes after Thunder
Update Coming Soon 10/11/2010
HAHAH. Wow, so much has happened since the last time I blogged. I had so many things I wanted to talk about, but I've just been too lazy to type 'em out here. So I kinda forgot some of the things I wanted to say.. Oh well, hopefully I can update this blog with more entries soon. (ranging anywhere from tomorrow to the next couple of weeks xD)
Add Comment Songs with meaning. 04/10/2010
This was gonna be a very VERY LARGE post because there wasn't any other way to make this more compact, but then I realized that some videos can't be embedded. So now the YouTube videos I was gonna post here can be found as convenient little links in the title of the song.
I'm including the lyrics to some songs, and I chose these following "modern" songs because I feel like I can relate to them very well, and they're just the ones I could think of off the top of my head. So now this is only gonna be a pretty large post. Enjoy. March Madness Review 04/10/2010
Man. March was such an overwhelming month for me. Every year I think I learn the full extent of March Madness, but then, every year after it just becomes even more intense. So to put it in context, this year March for me was:
- The month after my church winter retreat, so it'd be common to get into a spiritual low. - The month before spring break, so it'd be common to start thinking about that. - The month when college letters/emails start coming out, so it's like disappointment knocking on my door every week. - The month when people start talking about prom dates, but that doesn't affect me too much. - The month of IB projects galore, so every day is hecka mad. - Almost the end of my high school career, so senioritus hits us full blast. Sounds like a fun month, right? I guess...the thing I'll remember most about March is the insane amount of projects we got. Not homework, but projects. It was literally ... Chinese - 15 minute oral presentation, "prepared" but without notes. ToK - Theory of Knowledge 1600 word paper; 30 minute oral presentation, "prepared" and with notes. 20th - A book for children in Africa, preferably 15 pages minimum, hand-made and bound, with 2 more due in April; 2 page written review on a book (from a given reading list) about some aspect of Africa. Math - ok math was not as tough because we had one project a month for the past 4 [school] months (so that's october, november, january, and february). all we had was a two-part math test and regular homework. English - read through "the house of the spirits" + corresponding essay&quiz; 15 minute oral presentation, unprepared but given 30 minutes for analysis of a blind passage. Theater - "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" musical; dramathon; independent project portfolio (independent project was in january/february); 30 minute oral aka theater performance and production presentation, "prepared" (in 2 days) and with notes; research investigation; performance and production proposal (i think is what it's called). IB in general - CAS evidence due. Now, if the above projects were assigned to us over a span of the entire school year, it wouldn't seem as bad. But no, this, this was all assigned and due in the same month, so you can imagine how hectic every week was. (except for the last two theater projects...those were assigned last few days of march and carried over to do over spring break and due sometime in april.) And I wouldn't even be surprised if I had forgotten something up there. Hahah. Oh, and to make things worse, teachers had this uncanny ability of assigning everything due at the same time. So it was seriously like half of that due first two weeks of March, third week was extremely extremely slow and felt like forever cuz we practically had nothing to do all week, fourth week the other half was assigned and fifth week that was all due. Oh, fun fun times they were. Peter's testimony. 03/28/2010
So at fellowship, Peter shared his testimony with us, and he recapped his life from these last two years. I really enjoyed his testimony, and it was really encouraging. What he said in his testimony - the decisions he had reached and the lessons he had learned - really supported the conclusions I had reached earlier about my own life. The three verses he shared about God comforting, rebuking, and reminding him I think really apply:
the second one reminds me that everything is from God, so I have no right to be unhappy or discontent if I don't get what I want. the third one reminds me how I should be living every day, and the amount of honor and glory I should be giving to God every single day. So the things Peter said that I've been thinking these past few weeks: God shut the door on all those other choices, it just wasn't His will for me. God's plan and timing are perfect; everything will fall into place accordingly. When you think you're humbled enough, God says NO and humbles you some more. And some things he reminded me of. There's always more to humble, for once you think you're humble, you're not. --> bitter like the Israelites? Don't make Bible reading like a task that you check off. God is quiet during those times of trial because He knows we are mature enough to get out on our own. --> like Joseph's attitude. Car accident 03/27/2010
Goodness gracious, this really is the month of madness. First I find out I got wait-listed to the lowest ranked school I applied to, and now my car and another person's gets into an altercation. Nothing major happened to his car - just a few scratches, but my right side view mirror was totaled. GG. I'm really upset at myself for letting this happen - I'd like to blame my dessert that was close to overflowing for curbing my concentration, but that's just making excuses. Even if that was true, it's my fault for not paying enough attention to the road to avoid what happened. I don't know exactly who's fault is was, but I took the blame because I felt guilty regardless for letting it happen. However, I do have to praise the Lord a couple of things. First of all, everyone involved was safe. Second of all, my dessert didn't spill. Third of all, the damage isn't irreparable (i hope), Fourth of all, the guy who was in the other car was super duper nice, and he felt bad about the whole accident too. (If our cars hadn't hit, I'd add him on Facebook LOL.) He was Chinese-Taiwanese, probably a fob, and he was driving a company car. So he was like, super scared that he allowed the car to get messed up. So he called his company to see what they'd do, and I called mommy. We exchanged info, and he said that his company would not only NOT call my insurance company, they'd repair the car themselves and only ask us to pay for half of the cost. I told my mom what had happened, and she said it might be that guy's fault, so we might not need to pay for any repairs other than the ones to my car. We'll have to see what happens. But yeah, praise the Lord! Today, not only have I learned to be humble in everything, I've also learned to drive safely. (Hahah I'm so scared to drive now -_-) Two lessons in one day. I'd say that's pretty good, compared to how I've been recently. So I'd say today was a pretty good day, despite the...negative aspects of it hahah.. More college admission fail. 03/27/2010
Wow lolcakes. I got wait-listed to Pitzer. That's the most unexpected thing for me ever...
so here's my list of college admission failures. Pomona College - Rejected. Washington in St. Louis - Wait-Listed. UCLA - Rejected. UCSD - Accepted. CMC - Rejected. Pitzer - Wait-Listed. Washington and Lee - Wait-Listed. Williams - Rejected. Harvard - Rejected. UPenn - Rejected. Disappointment...Discouragement...Destiny. 03/24/2010
Well since I have a blog now, I guess I"ll write about it.
Yes, like everything else I type up, this blog entry is long. But I guess that just means I have a lot of thoughts... [[Read if you want, but this is essentially a recap of my thought processes about college for these past two months.]] So today I got rejected from Claremont McKenna. It's not like I expected to get in 100%, but I was hoping that God's grace would shine on me and somehow I'd get accepted. It also makes me so mad at myself for various reasons, which I'll get to later.. At least it's not my first experience with college rejection... My first one was the toughest; my dream college, the college I had wanted to go to the most - Pomona College - rejected me on February 13th. It was tough, because I thought for sure God had wanted me to go there so that I could continue to be with my church's jr. high and high school fellowship. After I got rejected to Pomona, I spent maybe a solid half hour or more just praying and reflecting on my goals and expectations. When I was thinking about what colleges I had wanted to go to, I thought about three major things: how much will it cost me and my family; will I still be able to stay with my fellowship and help them grow; will this school allow me to be a good example of a devoted Christian AND a good student? Pomona fulfilled all three: I would have received a full scholarship had I gotten in, it's right in Claremont, like a 5 minutes drive away from church, and it's the 6th ranked liberal arts college in America - often deemed one of the "Ivy's of the West Coast." Above all else, the thing I dislike the most is probably when "Christian" parents think that receiving a good education is more important than going to church - but not just not going to church, that being a "good student" is more important than being a good Christian. I had hoped to be able to change their minds and be an example of a student who could get accepted into a top tier school and yet still attend church every single week and actively serve in it as well. Guess that's not happening...unless of course I get into Harvard or UPenn hahah (which i doubt)...but then I won't be able to continue going to my current church with this fellowship anyway. I spent a lot of time thinking about this that day, and as I had always thought I'd be the one to be that example, that "shining light on a hill," if you will, I had thought God would have granted me admission into Pomona. But He didn't. And that made me seriously think. I came to realize that perhaps I wasn't the one to change these parents' minds, and that, if God wanted to use me in this capacity, it wouldn't be through education. I was disappointed when this thought occurred to me, because all of a sudden, the only thing I felt was important about me suddenly vanished. Without that distinction as an all-time-church-going-top-ten-school-student-Christian, I have nothing else that makes me different, in a meaningful sense. Sure, there are these other Christians in my generation that have gotten into excellent schools, but not one of them that I know of has made the commitment to always always be at church and to actively seek to serve God and the congregation. To me - and perhaps I'm over-thinking or just way off - while this sends a positive message to the parents of Christian high school students, this isn't the best testimony. To me, this is what it says: "Yeah, it's okay to be a Christian because it's possible to get into a good college. Look at ________ or ________, they got into soandso school. But you know what, in order to keep up with school, they have taken breaks and not gone to church for a period of time in order to maintain their high academic performance. Therefore, it's okay for you to quit church once in a while to keep up with your studies, son/daughter." Don't get me wrong, to those friends (or maybe acquaintances) of mine who are like this, I truly congratulate and applaud you, and I really am happy for you. It's me I'm not happy for. Since I'm at the subject, might as well continue. I was wait-listed for a college I wasn't really planning on going to but had always assumed I could get into. And I was rejected from the school of my childhood dreams, UCLA. After that third rejection in a row, I started to get nervous, but UCSD was my big break. I had finally gotten accepted somewhere, so that put me at ease. However, while I'm not proud to say it, I have to admit I wasn't satisfied with UCSD. Yes, I know it's a pretty good school, but I feel that - and I'm not saying this out of pride, I'm saying this based on effort and the work I've put into high school - I shouldn't have to go to the same school as some people who don't try as hard. Again, please don't get me wrong, I'm happy for everyone who got into UCSD or higher [ranked], but it's myself I'm not happy for. I've just been a discontent little prick. So today, when I learned I didn't get into CMC, I almost laughed at how ridiculous I am. Honestly. Thinking back, I can't believe why I was proud of myself at all. Sure, I can list my achievements for you, but they really don't mean anything but words on paper or sounds to the ear; the only thing these achievements should do for me is enrich my learning experience, not to brag about. Woo first blog entry ever. 03/22/2010
 Hm. This is my first ever blog post, and I don't really know what I want to say here. I guess a disclaimer is that my blog posts might not be very insightful and they might not contain any breadth, so I don't know if anyone would even be interested in reading these. I just want to type what I'm feeling. Sometime during spring break I'm gonna write a blog entry reflecting on this month known as "March Madness." Until next time... | Daniel Lei's blog
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